WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
