i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize