The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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