His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
