The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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