Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
