Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
