i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
