Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize