I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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