I hate all girls vehemently.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
