that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
People in love make me want to vomit
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Randomize
