The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
love makes seman taste better
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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