i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
