I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize