Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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