sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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