just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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