ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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