I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
