in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
