You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
