Your face is a jimmy john
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize