I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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