i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
