remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
