We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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