roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
