She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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