i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
this boner is exhausting
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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