I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I can text with my tongue
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
