hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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