he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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