is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
