You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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