just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
