just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
