New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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