i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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