Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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