I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize