You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize