Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
