I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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