At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize