He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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