No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
