You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We just shotgunned beers for America
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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