What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You pole danced in your parka.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
