The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
