I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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