White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
even my farts smell like vagina
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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