Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
