i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
