Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Every concussion has its silver lining
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
