A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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