don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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