return my video game
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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