I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
